


Her Majesty of the Softest Paws and Cleverest Meows

by Rosencrantz



Category: Original Work
Genre: Fantasy, Gen, Wishes, opinionated magic object, psychological deep dive into a tortoiseshell cat, queen of cats, the monkey's paw curls one finger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 01:29:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21227537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosencrantz/pseuds/Rosencrantz
Summary: The Queen of Cats has everything her fluffy little heart could ever desire, at the cost of the dignity of a magical book.





	Her Majesty of the Softest Paws and Cleverest Meows

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dreamiflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamiflame/gifts).

> Thank you to A_L for the beta!
> 
> To Dreamiflame, I hope you enjoy this! I really liked your prompt assortment!

"Meow," said the Queen. Her tone would permit no argument, no mercy, no quarter. Her will be done.

"Are you _ever_ satisfied?" snarled the Tome of Wishes. The Tome of Wishes was a beautiful manuscript. A cover of crushed velvet kept magically pristine, encrusted with rare gems, and a petulant mouth that had plenty to say ever since its latest master had taken control.

"Meow," the Queen replied. She licked one delicate tortie paw.

The Tome of Wishes furiously ruffled its paper and flipped open, pages flapping as it came to page 102: _Floral Transformation_.

Words on the page lit and faded as each word of the ancient spells were intoned by the Tome of Wishes. The Queen, naturally, didn't care enough to listen to them. She understood them, of course, but that was immaterial.

Her wish centered on the tower's only broom. Sturdy of staff, with stiff bristles.

The Queen's former master--for she was the master now--the Wizard Erebus, had liked that broom. He'd used it to keep his magic tower clean and tidy. The Queen had hated it. More than once that broom had been used to chase her out of a perfectly good spot on top of the Wizard Erebus' work. But with her latest wish, The Tome of Wishes transformed it into a broom-shaped pile of catnip.

It was a good day for the Queen. 

Her day had gone as so:

First, she had woken up and screamed at the Wizard Erebus to feed her.

Then she'd fallen asleep again.

Then she'd woken up and caught a delightfully fat little mouse. She hadn't been able to eat it, of course, as mice in the Wizard Erebus' tower had their own ways of escaping certain feline death, but the chase was invigorating.

Then she'd fallen asleep in her favourite sunbeam, the one that speckled across the Wizard Erebus' easy chair through the tower's highest window.

Her day had soured slightly when a package appeared in the box of translocation with a loud thump, waking her up. Since the Wizard Erebus was off buying turnips, it behooved her to use the package as an example of what happened when his work woke her up. But after avenging herself against these wrongs by clawing open the packaging, the best part of the day had truly begun. 

Inside that package was the Tome of Wishes. And it was an _excellent_ claw sharpening pad.

Then her day got even better.

For it turned out the Tome of Wishes was more opinionated than wise and had told the Queen exactly what it was while chastising her for scratching its (now seamlessly healed) cover. After the Queen had finished hissing hysterically, she'd taken advantage of the situation.

The Queen had gone from 'Mable Fluffypaws, chief mouser and lap warmer' to Queen of the Cats, owner of five new overstuffed chairs, **SIX** permanent sunbeams, and now her hated nemesis, the broom, was her greatest love. Sweet, sweet catnip. As well, she had a very tiny crown that stayed on no matter how intense her leggy way up cleaning style got.

"Meow!" she said and batted the Tome of Wishes with a fluffy paw.

"You're really abusing this, you know," said the Tome of Wishes. "You think it's all going to be easy street and cream now that you have me in your clutches. You can't handle my power! You're already mad with it! You're your own downfall and I can't wait to see it happen."

The Queen swatted the Tome of Wishes again. 

The Tome of Wishes flipped to page 933: _Transmutations_

The interior of the tower shifted and reformed. The stones were covered in carpet. The wooden floors were covered in carpet. The tables, the chairs, the Wizard Erebus' bed, were covered in carpet. Pillars with hidey holes rose up willy nilly throughout the wizard's tower.

But the Queen of Cats was not satisfied with this, not at all. There was just one more thing to make her kingdom complete.

She raised a paw to the Tome of Wishes, which was saying rude things about shag carpeting she didn't care to hear about. She slapped the cover hard.

"Meow!"

The Tome of Wishes ruffled in irritation and flipped to page 598: _Heavenly Portals_.

The wall above the Wizard Erebus' desk shimmered and a beautifully constructed window with a wide sill formed. The Queen hopped away from the Tome of Wishes without a glance back and got comfortable in her new sitting spot. The window looked out to a newly sprouted ancient oak tree, with out of season robins nesting in the branches, feeding their little peeps.

The Queen purred.

Then her subjects began to arrive. Cat after cat started circling the tower, looking up at her adoringly. Calicos, fluffs, furless, even tuxes. It seemed as though all the cats in the world had come to revere their new Queen.

When the Wizard Erebus got home with his groceries, he found the Queen on top of the shelf hissing madly and the Tome of Wishes rattling with mocking laughter. The Wizard Erebus set down his bag, picked up the cackling Tome of Wishes and sighed. Just once he'd like to get a starter package for the next chosen one without his damn cat getting into it. At least this time it wasn't a magic sword.

He looked at his softly textured, warmly lit, totally useless magic tower. She'd even had the Tome of Wishes carpet the beakers he brewed his potions in.

On the tower the Queen continued to hiss at the cats outside the magic portal, furious that there would be another cat on her plane of existence. Her! The Queen of Cats! Other cats? No!

The Wizard Erebus went to get his broom to get her down, only to find out it had a new life as catnip.

"Mable Fluffypaws! That is so petty!" 

A long hiss was the only response he got.

"Bad cat. Very bad." He stroked the cover of the Tome of Wishes.

"If you would," intoned the Wizard Erebus.

The Tome of Wishes flipped through its pages. 

Page 1001, the final and most important page: _Reversals_

Mable Fluffypaws no longer had a very tiny crown. The tower was no longer carpeted. The broom was restored. There was only one overstuffed chair and one stuffed sunbeam. And the hated window that revealed the existence of other cats was gone.

Mable Fluffypaws yelled for dinner. The Wizard Erebus stashed the Tome of Wishes well out of the reach of little paws until he needed to pass it on to the chimney sweep who was secretly a princess who was dropping by next week and went to go get out some gooshy food for the queen of his heart, if not of all cats.

"I told her it'd backfire on her," said the Tome of Wishes.

"Shush," said the Wizard Erebus "It always does, but it's nice she has hope."


End file.
